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How to break a shame spiral


Staff member
Dec 14, 2023
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There’s no pretty way to say it – shame spirals are the worst. One minute all is well, the next, a phrase, memory or feeling triggers your fight/flight/freeze response. You’re filled with regret, your body gets clammy, and your brain goes into overdrive trying to free you from a prison of shame.

Can anyone else relate? It’s normal to experience shame, but when we let it control us, we get caught in a whirlpool of anxiety. It turns into self hatred, anger, and bitterness. First about ourselves, and then about everyone we love.

So how do we break a shame spiral? It’s easier said than done, right? Especially if we believe we don’t deserve to be happy. Sometimes, the spiral is a way of punishing ourselves for our mistakes. And other times it becomes a form of self sabotage we don’t even know it happening.

In order to break the grip of shame over your life, you need to believe this:


(If you don’t believe this, it’s okay. But we highly recommend you see a professional to break this lie. Because the fact is, you are enough.)

It’s time to stop punishing yourself for the past friend. Whether you made a mistake, did something wrong, or just feel an intense amount of embarrassment, it’s time to let it go. You have power over who you are today. That means you can make amends, forgive yourself, or try to make reparations if necessary. You may just need to have some grace on your younger self, who did the best they could with what they had. So next time a shame spiral hits, follow these steps and break the cycle.


Do you get caught in a shame spiral? Do you struggle to believe you are enough? Contact Colleen on 0434 337 245, Duncan on 0434 331 243 or Rachel on 0442177193 for a FREE 10-minute phone consultation on how we can best help you, or press book now and make an appointment.

The post How to break a shame spiral appeared first on Watersedge Counselling.
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